Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Update Josh

He is doing very well on his new diet.  He is doing well at school.  He even made it to the school spelling bee, but did not win.  He has lost a lot of weight (per doc orders).

Learning to Let Go and Let God

I am learning to let go and Let God.  I have always struggled with anxiety even as child,though back then we did not know much about anxiety.  Yes, I take medicine for it.  It does not mean I do not trust God.  I have severe anxiety.

Lord Blessed me with a job, recently.  I forgot to think Him and let Him be in control.  I was worried about my schedule.  I kept thinking negative thoughts. So, of course I messed up.  I admit it.  But, I am only human.  I am not perfect.  I was madder at myself, than my boss was at me.

I am learning to let go and let God.  I have been a stay at home mom for over 15 years.  This is my first job back into the workforce.  Instead of relying on God.  I was mad at the situation and unsure what to do.

I admitted my mistake.  I asked,  "God for forgiveness."  I will try harder at work to focus and not forget Who gave me the job.  I want to do well.  I do enjoy my job.  it is hard physically.  I have always enjoyed a good challenge.  The Lord willing He will see me through this.

I really like my bosses.  Most of them are very nice.  I have a couple of days to recuperate.  Be careful what you wish or pray for because it just might come true.  I hopefully learned my lesson.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

When Being a Stay-t-Home Parent Is No Longer a Choice

I originally chose to be a stay at home mom.  At the time my first child was born there were a lot of reports of kids being left on daycare buses and other negatives about daycare.  I thought I would stay at home with her until she was old enough for school.

But, then I was pregnant with her brother.  I thought okay two more years.  I can wait that long.  But, these plans were not going to happen.

He was a very sick child.  He has had so many surgeries I have lost count.  He is now 12.  He was often home sick.  In preschool we had to take him out because he missed so many days.  In elementary school I was called often to pick him up early almost everyday.  They said, "he was to smart for CDC but he couldn't cope with a regular class. They would not help him by providing much needed services. Finally, he was given an aid,  Yet, I still picked him up early.  I'm just an administrator was often the quote, Or "He is in a regular class.  We have to treat him like a regular student." They continue to skirt around IDEA quoting "least restrictive environment" and only enforcing zero tolerance when his behaviors are concerning.  I am often fighting for his rights to a public education. They higher up he went the worse it got.

Even now at 12 and in seventh grade he is sick a lot.  He has already been home with strep/ear infection twice.

Later he was diagnosed with autism at age 5.  Then, at 8 with ADHD, OCD, and ODD.  Recentlly, he was diagnosed with metabolic syndrome, obesity, high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes's.

I want to get a job outside the home.  But, when he gets sick it is up to me to take care of him. My husband's work requires a twenty-four hour notice and limited sick days.

So, when money is tight I think I should get a job.  Then, Josh gets sick and I think:  Who, would I get to watch him?  What day care would take him?  There are no special needs day-cares that I know about.  Then, I think I would get fired right off for missing so much work.

I long to add income to our strapped budget.  I want to get braces for our daughter (who hates her teeth) and other things girls her age have.  Such as a cell phones and other electronics.  I long to live in a better apartment complex instead of a low-income apartment.



Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Truth of Autism

I am tired of pretending everything is fine when it is not.  The school system has failed our son, again for the eighth year in a row. This year they decided to give him all out classes with no aid or transition planing on the first day of school.  Last year they sent him to a new school without any planning or aid or transition and expected that to work.  I told them it would not work. As usual they did not believe me.

They made my life a living nightmare.  He was terrified of school.  A place where he should feel safe. He refused to get out of the car.  He was so stressed out he was making himself sick.  Later we found out it was because he was getting lost.

While, he is very smart even the supposed helpers such as the autism consultant forget he has autism and other disabilities.
So, now because of their poor planning or their lack of planning and understanding.  He is once again terrified of school. Now, the bus driver is mad because he refuses to get on the bus. Today, I took him to school.  It took them over an hour to get him out of the car.  I was in tears.  I know something is scaring him.  He used to love school.  Now, he hates it.
Most people have nightmares when their asleep.  I live mine every school day.  I have started praying for bad weather just to avoid this stress.

I cannot afford to home school or send him to a private school.  I'm sure the school wishes I would home school him.

I just talked to his teacher.  He is to ride the bus.  Did they not understand how mad the bus driver was at us.  I took him to school, today because the bus driver mad herself clear that he was not wanted.

It is always my fault according to school.  We still would of had this problem had he been on the bus this morning.  Why will they not listen to the mom?

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Long Day Yesterday

Yesterday, I had to take our son to a specialist in a big city about an hour from where we live.  It is a long drive especially with a child.
I asked my mother in law to help as she is from the area.
We got stuck in an elevator that dropped us four floors down.  I hate elevators to begin with and have always had a fear of that happening. I tried not to have a panic attack.  I am not sure I succeeded.  Thankfully, my mother-in-law knew what to do.  Oh, then we had to get back on some other elevators.
The doctor put our son on a strict diet due to health issues. Which, our son did not like.  Or that he has to exercise for 30 to 60 minutes a day.
Then, we had to get his blood drawn.  He did not like that at all.
Then, another hour back and to get lunch starting the new diet.  Next, to drop him off at school for the little that was left.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Zippers, snaps, and buttons Oh my?

What to do when your son is in men's sizes, but is 5 years old maturity wise.  Sorry, I haven't a clue.  I looked at two stores and Google (thank goodness for Googke) for full elastic waist pants for a 12 year old.  I could not find any.  All had to add zippers and buttons.  Yet, it is okay for women to wear pull on pants.

As for tee-shirts nothing cute all attitudes or beer related.  He outgrew most of his clothes.
So clothing industries listen up not all kids above 5 can do the basic self dress tasks such as zip, snap, button, buckle or tie shoes.

So, if you have any ideas let me know.

Struggles with autism

Today is the second day of school.  Joshua said he as scared.  He got on the bus and looked back,  The look on his face broke my heart.   He usually loves riding the bus. But, he does have some anxiety and attachment issues.  Was it because the routine change as his dad was not here?  Was it because i insisted on no electronics before school?  Because, then it is harder to get him on the bus.  Was it because he did not get to finish his snack?

I watched as the boy two years younger than my son was waiting for the bus by himself.  I wonder if my son will ever be able to do that?  Both boys ride the same special bus. usually, I jealous of the normal boys who play sports and have friends.  Hopefully, Joshua will want to be more independent after seeing this boy doing things typical kids do by themselves.

Yes, I am jealous that this younger special needs child is more independent than my son.