Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Update Josh

He is doing very well on his new diet.  He is doing well at school.  He even made it to the school spelling bee, but did not win.  He has lost a lot of weight (per doc orders).

Learning to Let Go and Let God

I am learning to let go and Let God.  I have always struggled with anxiety even as child,though back then we did not know much about anxiety.  Yes, I take medicine for it.  It does not mean I do not trust God.  I have severe anxiety.

Lord Blessed me with a job, recently.  I forgot to think Him and let Him be in control.  I was worried about my schedule.  I kept thinking negative thoughts. So, of course I messed up.  I admit it.  But, I am only human.  I am not perfect.  I was madder at myself, than my boss was at me.

I am learning to let go and let God.  I have been a stay at home mom for over 15 years.  This is my first job back into the workforce.  Instead of relying on God.  I was mad at the situation and unsure what to do.

I admitted my mistake.  I asked,  "God for forgiveness."  I will try harder at work to focus and not forget Who gave me the job.  I want to do well.  I do enjoy my job.  it is hard physically.  I have always enjoyed a good challenge.  The Lord willing He will see me through this.

I really like my bosses.  Most of them are very nice.  I have a couple of days to recuperate.  Be careful what you wish or pray for because it just might come true.  I hopefully learned my lesson.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Stress and More Stres

It seems like all I do is trade one stress for another.  I was stressed because I could not get him up on the bus.  It was so bad I was crying and my anxiety was high.  I did not even want to try.

The school refused to place him in aproiate setting.  We begged and begged to stop making him transition.  He has no aid either. So, we decided to home school.  I am not sure I can provide the structure he needs.  Now, I am up all night wondering if I can do this.  So, many say its not right or you wont get a break.Today, he was happier.  But, I am exhausted.
He says it is to hard to get up that early.  And the work is to hard. Joshua was exhausted after school.

I am not sure what to do, where to turn.

Monday, September 15, 2014

My son is already in bed.  It is still daylight out here.  My daughter and I are getting dinner ready for the rest of us.  It is only 530 p.m.
Why you ask?  Because he goes to a public school. We get up at 5:30 a.m. to be on the bus by 6:30 a.m.  School starts at 7:45.  He gets home around 3:15.  Snack, homework, check.  Dinner, bath and bed.  He has no time to play and no time to exercise.  The doctor wants 30 to 60 a day.  But, where are we going to fit it in during the school week?

The school doesn't want me to bring him to school.   They say he has separation anxiety from me.  But, really  he is terrified of the transitions that they keep forcing on him.  He says it scary.  We tell them. But, they do not want to listen.  They threw him under a bus so to speak two years in a row.  They had no transition planning for sixth grade.  They expected him to go to a brand new school without an aid and to be okay.  He has autism among other disabilities.  And again this year they put him in all "out classes" the first day of school without an aid.  They put him in art for an elective.  I kept telling them he hated it.  Took a month and half for them to figure this out.
I tried to tell them he couldn't handle the transitions.  I am stressed, fed up with the public school system, and this stupid schedule.

Why not pull him and homes school him?  I have thought about it and I am still thinking about it as I write this blog.  Can I handle it?  Maybe.  I really need to find a job to support our family as things are tough with all the doctor bills and medicine.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Legal Aid Equals No Help

I just received a letter from legal aid stating that we make to much to qualify for help.
Yet, we are in the poverty line.  We live in low-income housing and the children are on reduced lunches.

We cannot afford a lawyer on our own.  So, very disappointed in system that is very much broken.
We do not qualify for food stamps.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Why My son is no Longer Aloud To Buy School Lunch

First, yes we are on reduced meal plan.  But, still our son via doctors order is not aloud to buy school lunch, anymore.  Second, he is a big boy.  I have been seeking help for him for a long time.  I always thought something wasn't right.  All I got was boys eat a lot.  Finally, this year (he is now 12) I was referred to a specialist for him.

I learned that his insulin was to high which I have thought since he was very young.  He could eat an entire box of waffles and sausage if I would let him (but I would not) and he would still be hungry.

His blood pressure was also borderline high.  

So, now he is on a low carb diet.  No juice, no grapes.  Yes, he told the doctor he was mean.  Joshua has autism and sensory issues.  He is a very picky eater.  So, this will be tough on us and especially his older sister.  
So, what do you pack in the lunch?  He throws  out the veggies. He just will not eat it if he does not like it.
The doctor wants him to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year.

Have you seen what they serve in the cafeterias.  It is the same thing every week. Hamburger, chicken nuggets, fish (breaded),  beef dippers, Mexican day, and spaghetti. 

When Being a Stay-t-Home Parent Is No Longer a Choice

I originally chose to be a stay at home mom.  At the time my first child was born there were a lot of reports of kids being left on daycare buses and other negatives about daycare.  I thought I would stay at home with her until she was old enough for school.

But, then I was pregnant with her brother.  I thought okay two more years.  I can wait that long.  But, these plans were not going to happen.

He was a very sick child.  He has had so many surgeries I have lost count.  He is now 12.  He was often home sick.  In preschool we had to take him out because he missed so many days.  In elementary school I was called often to pick him up early almost everyday.  They said, "he was to smart for CDC but he couldn't cope with a regular class. They would not help him by providing much needed services. Finally, he was given an aid,  Yet, I still picked him up early.  I'm just an administrator was often the quote, Or "He is in a regular class.  We have to treat him like a regular student." They continue to skirt around IDEA quoting "least restrictive environment" and only enforcing zero tolerance when his behaviors are concerning.  I am often fighting for his rights to a public education. They higher up he went the worse it got.

Even now at 12 and in seventh grade he is sick a lot.  He has already been home with strep/ear infection twice.

Later he was diagnosed with autism at age 5.  Then, at 8 with ADHD, OCD, and ODD.  Recentlly, he was diagnosed with metabolic syndrome, obesity, high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes's.

I want to get a job outside the home.  But, when he gets sick it is up to me to take care of him. My husband's work requires a twenty-four hour notice and limited sick days.

So, when money is tight I think I should get a job.  Then, Josh gets sick and I think:  Who, would I get to watch him?  What day care would take him?  There are no special needs day-cares that I know about.  Then, I think I would get fired right off for missing so much work.

I long to add income to our strapped budget.  I want to get braces for our daughter (who hates her teeth) and other things girls her age have.  Such as a cell phones and other electronics.  I long to live in a better apartment complex instead of a low-income apartment.